Pushing Me Away
by srsn
Summary: Songfic: Sam's thoughts about Andy set to Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park. Post 2x02 with spoiler from 2x03


**A/N:** Just wrote this in about an hour, got the idea yesterday, but have been really busy with work.

I am working on another chaptered fic, but it's proving to be a lot more difficult to write that I thought it would be in the beginning. (And I can only seem to write it on the bus to and from work)

Hope you enjoy this songfic in the meanwhile!

Set after 2x02 with spoiler for 2x03

Let me know what you think =D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue in any way, shape or form. Nor do I own Linkin Park's "Pushing Me Away"

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><p>PUSHING ME AWAY<p>

I've lied to you

The same way that I always do

He'd done it again. Brushed off what she had said instead of actually taking the conversation somewhere. He knew her words had been a kind of challenge to make him say something, but he couldn't. He was too afraid.

This is the last smile

That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

He'd forced his lips into a smile that he knew had not looked genuine. How could it have when he felt like this.

_Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down_

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

She was hiding in her idea of the perfect world of her perfect boyfriend and their perfect house. But he knew. Callaghan was far from perfect. She'd know that soon enough herself.

_Everything has to end, you'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind_

The sacrifice is never knowing

Sam knew that it was going to end. Maybe soon, but he couldn't be sure. She was making such a good job at seeming happy, but there was something. He had seen it, felt it, something that made her question things.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

He wished that he could just leave. Walk away and never looked back. But just thinking about not seeing her face, hearing her voice or seeing her smile, made it feel like he was being torn apart.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

He kept telling himself that she and Callaghan would be over soon. That she'd realize how great _they_ would be together. But it was taking so long.

I've tried like you

To do everything you wanted too

Sam knew she wanted the perfect life, and he had stepped back to let her have it.

This is the last time

I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

He'd even fixed it when it was starting to break. That was one decision he regretted now.

_Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down_

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

Callaghan's façade _would_ break. It was just a matter of time. Sam had seen the way he and his ex-partner looked at each other.

_Everything has to end, you'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind_

The sacrifice is never knowing

He hoped Andy would figure it out before it was too late, before she would get too hurt.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

He'd turned down his dream job for her. Let go of what he loved most in the world. What he loved the most until he met her.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

She was killing him. The way she spoke to him sometimes. Making his heart race before she'd pull back and make it feel like she'd stomped all over it.

_We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds_

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

His heart was pulling him in one direction, his head in the other, leaving him confused and giving him trouble with focusing on his work.

_We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds_

The sacrifice is never knowing

He was hoping for something to happen, sooner rather than later, to make his heart and mind agree with what direction to choose.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

He'd told Boyd no. He would not be going to guns and gangs. He'd stay at 15. He'd went with his heart though his sense and his head screamed at him not to do so.

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

She'd been happy when they had seen each other at the start of shift today. She'd glowed and joked and flirted with him. It made him confident that he had made the right choice in staying.

Pushes me away

At parade it was announced that she had agreed to marry him. Callaghan.

Pushes me away

He'd made the wrong choice.

~THE END~

**A/N:** Hope you liked it, I wrote it kind of quickly =P


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